Resilience is the "secret ingredient" that makes the difference between average and highly successful recruiters, says coach Sophie Robertson.

It is one of the range of characteristics that make up the mindset needed to be successful, by helping recruiters bounce back after a challenging encounter or event, she says.

"If you think about your resilience as a piece of elastic, it's your ability to flick back into the shape you were in, or stronger, when faced with adversity."

Intrinsically motivated people with a positive mindset find it easier to bounce back, she says, because they are less influenced by what others do, or events outside of their control.

Extrinsically motivated people, on the other hand, "are far more likely to be impacted by factors such as other people's behaviour, events like the GFC, and what else happens around them".

Robertson, the director of YouNique Coaching, says recruiters should understand that the only thing they can control is themselves - and how they react to events - "since we have absolutely no control over other people, the economy or what else life brings".

It is possible to become more intrinsically motivated and resilient, she says, and this is a "vital skill, because your attitude to any challenging event will decide how you bounce back, or whether you never get up again".

Recruiters can experience a more positive mindset simply by re-programming their brains or outlooks on events. "This technique can equally be used to increase sales, have a better relationship, or just about anything you wish to apply it to."

The exercise should be done every day for at least 21 days, to convert a "glass half-empty" person to one who sees the glass as half-full:

1. Write down two things every day that you do well (if you can't think of any, ask people who know you until you get into the habit of recognising them yourself).
2. Write down one example each day of a "bad" thing that has happened to you, then write down what the lesson is that you can take away from the incident - in other words, what's the "good" stuff. "This builds on the belief in coaching that there is no such thing as failure, only feedback. For it to be feedback, though, you have to see the feedback part rather than focusing on what didn't work."
3. Do this on a daily basis, preferably at the same time every day.

The exercise helps to re-train your brain to look for positives rather than negatives, Robertson says. "Our brains are easily trained - just think of how when you buy a blue car, suddenly it seems like the number of blue cars on the road has multiplied. Of course this is not true, however your awareness allows your subconscious mind to put blue cars on your radar."

In much the same way, she says, you can re-train your brain to look for the positives in any situation. "This builds resilience, because an inability to bounce back occurs when we let our minds magnify the negative to the extent that it can be debilitating.

"So, a non-resilient recruiter doing telemarketing may use every knock back to cement their negative belief that marketing is pointless, and this could even prevent them from picking up the phone.

"A resilient recruiter, however, will think, 'Why did I ask that closed question, which gave the potential client the chance to shut the conversation down?' On their next call, they will consciously make an effort to structure the conversation differently in the pursuit of a better outcome. When the better outcome eventuates, the recruiter will think, 'Ah, so that's how I should be directing the conversation'.

"In other words, they are looking for and using the feedback.

"There is an old truth that success comes from trying again and again. If you need more resilience to bounce back and try again, think about all the things you've got going for you and use the feedback from when things don't work out, rather than giving up or focusing on the negatives."